A Boomer’s Trip Down the Rabbit Hole of Technostress

by Jessica Loftus

For decades, John prided himself on eluding technostress – that vile affliction of anxiety caused by rapidly changing technology. Unlike most of his Boomer peers, he resisted cyber evolution at every turn. However, a lost job forced him to adapt to the ’20s mentality (and no, not the 1920s). So down the rabbit hole of integrated circuitry, John fell—his harrowing tale of buying a new computer he now dares to tell. 

At age 63, John lost his 25-year job in the declining newspaper industry. For years, he joked that his vintage desktop computer was a “bit out of date.” Upon learning the manufacturer no longer supported its operating system, he could no longer deny the microchip advancements in the 21st century. With reluctance and trepidation, John embarked on his journey down the rabbit hole of technostress.

Starting Down the Rabbit Hole

In the first phase of his descent down the rabbit hole, John searched for an up-to-date PC. As he read online descriptions of prospective All-in-Ones, strange terms like DDR3 Ram and SSD flooded his aging brain. Processing all this data went far beyond his remedial tech understanding. So, he consulted with an expert – his 14-year-old niece. She recommended the perfect laptop that met John’s needs and budget in no time. 

Armed with a brand name and a serial number, he surfed online for the best deal. He found his desired model on sale at a prominent retailer at rabbit speed. Since John had a few questions before he made his purchase, he made a naïve mistake – using his landline to call that store. 

The First Whiff of Technostress

Immediately, a voice on an automated system instructed John to choose one of nine options. Since none of the options fit his purpose of asking a few questions, he pressed Zero hoping to connect to a human voice. Then a message announced that a “customer success specialist” would tend to him soon. Dust bunnies could have gathered under his desk while he waited.

Finally, when a human clicked on the line to help, John was promptly transferred to a different department upon explaining his needs. After waiting another eternity, a second person greeted him and promptly disconnected the call while placing him on hold. Frustrated, John felt too tired to continue and decided to try again later. 

Clutching his rabbit’s foot while calling early the following day, John found himself again on hold, listening to a looped message that he could receive quicker service if he went on the retailer’s website. “Okay,” he muttered while hanging up the phone. After spending 15 minutes setting up a new account with a password that required numbers, letters, capitals, and special symbols, John fell deeper into the rabbit hole. 

Meet the Chatbot

Then he encountered a mysterious innovation called a “chatbot,” an automated system to simulate human chat conversations. Upon receiving a long chat prompt that ended with an offer of help, John typed in a few questions. The chatbot responded with two site links to subjects that had nothing to do with his questions. Recalling the phrase, “If you chase two rabbits, you will catch neither,” he retyped only one question. When a message trumpeting a sale on refrigerators appeared in the chat feed, he logged off the website in disgust. 

While munching on some rabbit food, John decided to go to the retailer’s brick-and-mortar store. To his utter amazement, he received answers to his questions and bought his state-of-the-art laptop. Transporting his proud purchase home, John started setting it up. At first, he darted like a bunny entering information like his email address and the purchase registration number into the system. But his progress slowed to a crawl when prompted to download antivirus software. That’s when the decline down the rabbit hole steepened.

HELP!

This freefall plunge took one chatbot session, two phone calls, and three help-desk professionals to fail the mission of downloading the computer’s antivirus software. The first phone call ended after 45 minutes when the agent transferred John to another helper. During the second call, the tech advisor guided him to enter a complex series of DOS commands that disabled the new computer’s built-in virus protection. Over and over, John received directions to click on buttons that didn’t appear on his screen and find icons that defied description. An hour later, the befuddled tech agent placed him on hold to consult with a supervisor. Again that call was mysteriously disconnected. 

Out of shear rabbit desperation, John tried his sleight of hand at another chat encounter with a live human. This techie responded at tortoise speed (usually a five-minute turnaround time with each chat line). After an hour of hare-raising torture, John troubleshot the problem without guidance. 

Climbing Out of the Rabbit Hole

Eureka! John pulled the rabbit out of the hat and successfully downloaded that software. Like magic, his technostress disappeared as he emerged from the daunting rabbit hole. That day, he learned he could manage almost any techie task a non-techie person would encounter. Here John offers a few tips to those technologically impaired souls who dare to boldly go down the rabbit hole of cyberspace. 

Tips for Easing Technostress

1. Schedule at least one hour for any task involving automation. Simple chores that take a few moments of human interaction take ten times as long with automated assistance. 
2. Keep emergency supplies like water, food, and a favorite book on hand as you venture through any techno task. You never know how long you will be tethered to your phone or computer. 
3. Practice deep breathing throughout the whole ordeal. Try a little lavender essential oil to soothe your nerves.
4. Ease your anxiety by reminding yourself that this hare-raising adventure, too, shall pass.
5. Take breaks when you feel overwhelmed. Return when you feel refreshed. Remember that the slow tortoise won the race with the speedy hare. 
6. Whenever possible, hire a teenage consultant to do the job for you. 

With a touch of Boomer-generation ingenuity and a mountain of Depression-generation patience, you, too, can weather the storms of the current era of technostress. Now onto John’s next task – the job search.

This story was shared with permission.

Images are under license from shutterstock.com